Habit of Depression

Generally speaking since I began the much dreaded and feared Geodon I have felt pleasant and happy, even productive. I am not experiencing the side affects I was so worried about. I am sleeping like a baby with the use of sleeping meds and sleep hygiene. I am successfully combatting the manic issues I deal with so frequently. I rarely notice the depressive symptoms inherent with manic depression. I have one major symptom of depression that I really didn't recognize or deal with. I couldn't explain in any logical way why I seem to need to isolate myself in my little home cocoon but it is a big problem for me. Given the choice to go and do something really exciting and fun or stay home I will most often choose, sometimes even fight to stay at home. I have tried to explain this away in a number of waya but the truth is I have never been able to explain this well. I saw my shrink today because in addition to a huge crying spell preceded by a case of the 'my whole world sucks' I knew I was in the middle of a downswing. The manic issues are currently well managed but not the depressive issues. I manage my bipolar through my med shrink and my head shrink. My med shrink upped one of my mood stabilizers and suggested I discuss my isolation with my head shrink. She said that people can deal with their depression issues for so long that it almost becomes a habit. Does that mean I have been isolating for so long that med support alone won't get me out of the house? Do I need to kick the habit? There are things I love to do that I haven't done since February of 2005. Isolation has played a major role in my life since that time. Because I believe family is so important I fight the desire to stay at home. Once I'm there I have a great time. I literally love training my dog but haven't gone to classes since August of 2004. Doesn't make any sense does it? Tom and I have plans to go to class together, he is gonna train Monkey. I was really looking forward to competing with Hulda. I'm really tired of this nothing and hope that this is the answer I've been looking for.