Night time

Night time always seems to be the most deeply depressing time for me. What seems to happen is that thoughts come too quickly, often rather morbid thoughts or thoughts that visit the worst time in my life or actions that I am ashamed of. This is a symptom of mania, but the nature of the thoughts can push me into an immediate downswing. I even know what is happening, I can feel it approaching but seem helpless to stop it. I really hate feeling like a victim of my own mind.

Last night I took my night meds 2.5 hours later than usual. This pushed my tightly ordered night time schedule off. Without meds in my blood stream the symptoms just take over.

I'm doing much better now, will check in later.