Victory Dance!

I don't see cause and effects very well. Especially when it comes to my health. Here is a good example. My manic episodes were getting out of control around late spring into summer. Thoughts were rushing through my head so fast I couldn't sleep. I would go 24-48 hours without sleep. This would happen once sometimes twice a week. None of the meds I take for sleep helped at all. I tried a few meditation techniques but I couldn't quiet my brain. I slept only when I was physically exhausted. I saw my psychiatrist who increased my Lithium. I had concerns about being on so much medication and had resisted her recommendations. This time I listened to her. The increase in Lithium put an end to the 24-48 hour insomnia episodes. Victory!
The Lithium also put an an end to most of my irrational anxiety. I have panic episodes. Panicking while driving had become an issue for me. This started after I was in a serious rollover car accident. I would have anxiety attacks while driving. I would be overcome with fear especially on high bridges and flyovers. I had to concentrate very hard on simply getting myself to safety. Since the increase in Lithium panic has ceased to be an issue. Despite my efforts to avoid flyovers I would find myself on them. This is the attention deficit in attention deficit disorder. I simply paid no attention to what I was doing. Once it's too late I have to move through it. The fear that my car would simply drive itself over the edge is powerful. I found myself on a flyover recently and that fear was gone. In fact I was able to appreciate how cool the experience really is. Panic episodes in general seem to be gone. This was huge for me and definitely felt like a victory!
I have suffered from severe tension headaches for several years. Occasionally they are so bad that I have to get Demerol shots to cope with the pain. My neurologist explained that they were not true migraines despite the pain. A migraine has to do with blood rushing too fast in the brain (I think that's what he said) while mine were related to anxiety. When my psychiatrist first put me on Lithium I experienced a decrease in tension headaches. Since the increase in Lithium I haven't had a single tension headache like that. I meet with him this week (I see him every 4-6 months) and I'm curious what his opinion will be. I like him well enough but I'm hoping he releases me as his patient. I think it will feel like victory!

Getting relief for problems in 3 areas of my life by putting one into balance is wild to me. I knew that Bipolar affected many layers of my life and I probably paid lip service to that affect. Still, it is wild to me that a solution to one problem could be such so far reaching. I am still coping with insomnia but it is not nearly as out of control. Sleep is incredibly important and I'm working very hard to solve the problem. One piece to this puzzle was getting the bipolar under a greater degree of control. Victory!