Ugh

Boy am I getting tired of this. In my post I Choose I mentioned that I will be getting an ultrasound of my legs, tomorrow in fact, to determine why I have been having such painful swelling in my legs and ankles. I had this same kind of swelling with the Lithium which began to subside as my dosage was lowered. I calculated about when the swelling began again, thinking of course something must be seriously wrong if it is coming back. Well, it looks like the swelling came back around the time I increased my dosage of Geodon. I was so afraid of taking Geodon and now I feel so great you couldn't pay me to give it up. I may never be completely normal but I am enjoying a facsimile thereof. I am of course going through with the ultra sound. If there is an underlying issue I want to know it. It is strange that my right leg is swelling more than my left leg, however this is in keeping with Geodon's side effects. I really don't want to take a pill to fix the side effects of another pill but in this case I may make an exception. The really positive outcome of all this is that I was scared shitless into taking my diet and weight loss seriously. I have been trying to quit smoking (3 days no cigs) working out, cooking at home and reading a weight loss book put out by the American Heart Association. This is so not me but at the same time I am enjoying making choices that are good for me rather than being led around by my whims and addictions. Cross your fingers, toes, hair, etc. that my legs are fine and this is just med induced edema.

The Awesome Hulda Video

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Preparations

This is a beautiful yet slightly overweight boxer. I was hesitant to send this picture to Kti Jenson of Global Boxers because it very honestly shows how heavy I have allowed her to become since my car accident in 2004. It was this picture that showed her beautiful front and not completely horrible rear. Kti has generously agreed to help me find a UK male that will "strengthen the rear...level her out and balance her". I am thrilled that someone with such a commitment to health and structure is helping me.

In 2004 Hulda was trim (also still in her puppyhood) and we were very actively training for the AKC Novice Obedience Class. I had lost a lot of weight and was feeling great. In August of that year a driver in Volkswagon Golf ran through a stale red light going around 70 miles an hour (according to police at the scene). The fact that I was driving Tom's full size Blazer (compare to Chevy Tahoe) is probably the only thing that kept me alive. I feel so awful for every bad thing I ever said about it and the name I christened it with 'Lurch'. Despite the fact that the Blazer flipped twice and then spun like a top I walked away in one piece. I credit Lurch entirely with saving my life. Bruised and seriously banged up to be certain but not facing a lifetime in a wheel chair or dead, but I digress.

Back to the point. After the accident I had serious shoulder, wrist and knee injuries. I had to completely quit training Hulda. I got lax on the strict diet plan we had her on. For the first time ever she got little bits of food from our plates. I think I was trying to make up to her all the time we weren't spending together like before. She really loved all the attention she got from training. Prior to the accident she was unaware that she could get food from our plates and didn't beg at all. I let my sweet beautiful dog get fat, I feel really awful about that. At first the only recent pictures of Hulda I sent to Kti were ones that sort of hid this fact. Because she couldn't really see Hulda she had serious concerns about her construction. So, I bit the bullet and sent her this much more honest photo.

So what are you preparing for Patti?, you ask. Well, we are preparing to show Hulda in the Novice Obedience Class at the 2007 American Boxer Club National Specialty Show. I want her to be in top show condition just as if we were showing her in the conformation classes to be judged because believe me, she will be judged. This is where the top Boxers in the country all congregate for one massive show full of Boxers only. Imported dogs from the European continent and the United Kingdom feature only a small percentage of the total dogs shown and yet they represent some of the healthiest dogs in the United States. It is these dogs or dogs descended from imports like Hulda, that I am interested in. The owners of these dogs are rather hard to impress. Hulda's health, intelligence, structure and bloodlines are the reasons she has earned her a place among these dogs and these breeding programs.

How are we preparing? Well, Hulda is back to her strict diet. She is eating a super high quality dog food called Solid Gold Hundenflocken. Due to its nutrition and digestibility she doesn't need to eat as much. I am taking her to the park for training on days we don't have classes, after training at the park I either play soccer, yes I said soccer, or I throw a ball around until she is winded. I am already seeing signs of increased muscle tone and weight loss. She is by no means obese, just not ideal condition. It should prove fairly easy to have her in tip top condition by early May which is when the obedience trials will be held.

There is of course a side benefit for me. As I train her, I too am getting exercise. I hope to have lost about 20 to 25 pounds by May. I sincerely hope that is not too far flung a goal. I too must make a good impression.

Exhausted

Congratulations are in order for my girl Hulda! After her Intermediate training class which is from 7-8pm the trainers informed me that she was ready for the Novice class. The Novice class is for those dogs who are preparing to compete in the Novice class at AKC Obedience trials. Basically my little girl is ready for the big time. The reason I titled this post Exhausted is because that is exactly what I was last night. See, the Novice class on Tuesdays is right after the Intermediate class from 8-9. So right after we had our feet walked off from heeling exercises we had them run off in the Novice class. I was soooo ready to go home and not move for the rest of the night. So, since we are in the big time now I decided to just go ahead and enter her in the Alamo City Cluster. This is 3 days of dog show bliss! We are entered only on the Saturday and Sunday shows. After our Novice class I realized that it is possible that we may have bitten just a tiny bit more than we can actually chew. She is solid on most things but I now realize we are going to have to work extra hard on three very important exercises. Exercises I believe we will have solidly in place by March 10 &11. These exercises are the 'Finish' which is returning to the heel position (at my left side) from the 'Recall'. This is by far the most challenging exercise that we need to perfect. Then there is an exercise which I don't know the name for which involves heeling between two posts to test our teamwork. She does this perfectly but I need to work on my form. The handler is tested just as much as the dog is. The final exercise which I do not foresee any real trouble with it is just that I have not tested her on it and that is the 'Off-Lead' heeling exercise. So we've got our work cut out for us but I believe that we may be ready and just might get one or two legs towards her Companion Dog (CD) title.

I Choose

Before I begin on recent positive choices I would like to say that Tom's surprise birthday party was a huge success! He was totally surprised and had a great time. Both his family and mine were there which was very special to both of us. Historically these two sides have had more downs than ups together, something that has really bothered me. Part of my goal was one last ditch effort to bring these two sides together and hopefully allow some healing to begin. My SIL & BIL have successfully incorporated their respective in-laws in their lives as a cohesive whole and I must admit I have been just a bit jealous and sad that I have been unable to do the same. After the event my mom and I talked about how much fun was had and my SIL told me that before we arrived there was harmony and genuine friendliness. My mom and I discussed the topic of this healing and she herself feels it has indeed begun. Yay! This makes me very happy.

Now onto my choices. My quitting smoking has had some ups and downs but I am ploughing through determined to be a non-smoker for good. I feel so much better when not smoking and I want to feel better.

Last night Tom and I decided to choose better health for the both of us. We are members of Gold's gym through his work. Last night we went with a close friend and we all worked out. He did his walking with his friend while I swam laps and did other water exercises. The pool allows me to do some real vigorous cardio without putting pressure on my left knee which has been through surgery and then a series of painful injections after a very bad car accident. I found that swimming is like really good weed. It hits you quite a bit later. After working out I treated myself to the whirlpool. Yay!

Yesterday I bought a diet book put out by the American Heart Association called 'No-Fad Diet' it is a straight forward approach to healthy eating for weight loss. I think this will be especially beneficial as Tom has had some circulatory issues and it looks like the same may be happening for me. Tom and I discussed choosing to feed our bodies as opposed to eating only because something was appealing or tasted really good. I will be getting an ultrasound later this week to determine if and what is wrong with my legs which often swell quite painfully. I am visualizing that nothing is wrong whatsoever. That being said it is better to err on the side of caution and plan healthy eating.

Surprise!

Today is the day after Tom's birthday and I have something very special planned for him. Part of it he knows and part of it he does not. The part he knows is that today we are going to a very special limited guest luncheon at a very nice little Texas winery, Dry Comal Creek Vinyards. Every month they have what they call Soup Saturday. Chef Carol Hill from the River House Tea Room in Gruene serves up a very special soup, this months soup is Prime Rib Stew. The soup is served with salad, bread, a small dessert and a glass of non-reserve wine. Additionally particpants in this very special lunch receive 20% off wine purchased that day. This is the part that he knows about. What he doesn't know is that we will be joined by my parents, his mom, sister, BIL and most importantly our neice Serif. We have worked very hard to keep this secret a secret (not without near catastrophic slips of the tongue). We love visiting wineries and I am really looking forward to this being a very special day. Shhhhh. Please don't tell!

New Habits

Tom and I decided over the weekend that each wants the other to live a long and healthy life and so we must begin to change some habits together. This is going to very difficult for me because this requires organization. Organization is not my strong suit plus I am still trying to get the med thing figured out. I feel so much better than I ever have but I am still having serious issues with insomnia. I woke up at 5:00 this morning to get us up and going to the gym but Tom wasn't hearing any of it. Besides organization we lack discipline, I flopped back down in the bed for a little more sleep. Dieting will be an even harder obstacle course for, I am impulsive and take drugs that aren't conducive to a smart eating plan. Top that all of with no ability to organize things like weekly meals and you have a recipe for utter, utter failure. Somehow we are going to have to navigate around all of this if we ever want to be healthy human beings. I have no idea where or how to start.

Last week I dealt with a serious bout of insomnia and was too tired to go Hulda's certification exam. I was sorely disappointed in myself. I'm not back at square one with my meds, more like square two, but I seem to be with everything else.

Therapy Dog

Tonight Hulda takes a basic obedience and temperament test for Therapy Pet Pals of Texas to see if she would make a suitable therapy dog. She isn't the first therapy dog I've had. My first boxer Jazz passed her exam with flying colors but sadly was never able to go to work. I have every expectation that Hulda will pass her exam. I know several people who have therapy dogs and say the work is rewarding for the team (dog and handler). From them I learned that while the dog really enjoys the work that the handler (me) needs to be aware of her needs. For whatever reason the work can be draining on the dog. I am looking forward to actually getting to enjoy the experience something I was never able to do with Jazz.

Utterly Amazing

I don't know what the odds are on a dog being able to perform off lead after a 2 1/2 year lag in training but I'll take that bet. Hulda's hardest exorcise has always been recall (come!). She started out like a greyhound in her puppy hood and would race right into my legs or would alternately run gleeful circles around me. She did so well on the heeling portion that the trainer wanted to see her off lead recall. Perfect. Far better than her on lead recall. I think she is going to end up being one of those obedience dogs that really doesn't like the leash and would rather just do it correctly but without it. I am dumbstruck that she hasn't lost at least some of her training. That is to be expected. She is one smart cookie. I think we're in the right class, she still needs some work on her finish (returning to the heel position on command). She does a half finish but that's my fault. I tried to teach her to do the flip finish when she was a pup but it turned out a lopsided finish instead. This isn't a new problem, she's doing exactly, exactly, what I trained her to do. I am having so much fun. The 30 minutes of fast controlled walking is probably good for me. About Turn! Right Turn! Left Turn! Fast! Hopefully next week Hulda will be the only one panting when we complete the heeling exorcise. It has been so great being around a whole bunch of dog people. My people!

?lamroN

I am not exactly sure what constitutes normal. I don't believe I have experienced it as it generally defined. In the past few weeks I have found getting one of my mood states into some semblance of 'normal' automatically triggered the opposite or polar mood state. I have tried so many medications that I really ought to be getting a guinea pig check from the drug companies. The good news today is that I woke up feeling more balanced and ready to face the world than I have in months. My very wise husband suggested that we 'drop by' my old dog training center just to see what old friends were up to. Before we had left I had signed up for a months worth of classes. It is bewildering to me that it has taken me so long to get back to what can only be described as a passion for me. Tuesday night Hulda and I went to classes and she utterly amazed me and the other trainers. Not only was she not rusty, she hadn't forgotten a thing. She out heeled, out stayed, out sat and out downed every other dog in the room. I couldn't have been prouder and honestly the accolades must go to her. I haven't worked her consistently in 2 1/2 years. It was almost as though she has been waiting for mom to wake up. Tonite is class two and I feel more than confident that after a month in the intermediate class she will be ready for the show prep class. It is not ridiculous to think I could test her out on the A &B matches by late March early April. The nationals are in May, what if I feel so good and am doing so well that I she finishes her title at the biggest show for Boxers of the year? I think it is a worthy goal and one I intend to aim for. Whatever I am feeling, normal or otherwise...it feels great!