Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Hit them where they live

Funny little phrase, I've always thought. 'Hit you where you live'. It means you've been dealt a very personal blow that forces you to sit up and pay attention. Well, North Austin Surgery Center has my undivided attention. I've been giving a lot of thought to this. I have been reticent, despite my anger, to mount a suit of some sort. I've contacted legal counsel although I'm having some trouble in this area. The thing is, I don't believe that getting money from them will provide me with the sort of satisfaction I am after. I have been robbed of the most basic purpose of my existence, reproduction. All personal issues I may have surrounding this topic fall away when it is forcefully removed. I have been violated. When countries go to war they look to their allies. Lawyers are an end unto theselves. While passion may play a role in their chosen profession they are in it, usually, for the paycheck. A lawyer is less of an ally and more of a weapon, in my opinion. So who do I have as an actual ally? The answer is kinda funny when you think about it. My health insurance company is my ally. They will have a keen interest in monies paid for a procedure their client, me, specifically and repeatedly refused. My insurance has the ability to make them pay; mount their own law suit, recoup money, etc. It seems to me there would be legal and by this I mean criminal ramifications and they could help me file charges. Perhaps not, however they will also have a complete list of North Austin Surgery Center's governing bodies and licensing affiliates. Each of these will have their own complaint process. What was done was serious and handling it through a personal law suit doesn't feel satisfactory. I want to take them in front of their peers and their betters and shine a very, very bright light on what happened to me. In short, I want to hit them where they live.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Urban Nonfiction

Generally speaking, urban legends are stories about scary incidents that, if true, would impinge on a great many people. These tales, often of faceless and nameless terror, entice the reader with conspiracies that might surely affect them.

What about truth that sounds like fiction? Urban Nonfiction just doesn't have the same ring, does it? Not to strike fear into the heart of, well probably less than 10, but 'surgical accidents' are more common than you might think.

Why all the drama? Well, last week three surgical operations were performed on me. I had specifically requested one of them not be performed. Strangely enough the fault does not lie with the physician. She was not informed that I had changed my mind. When I left her office there was a question as to whether or not I wanted this procedure performed.

The surgery center called me to set up the procedure. I told them and was very clear. I don't want the [procedure].

I filled out the online form and in the space provided I wrote, "I do NOT NOT NOT want the [procedure]".

On the day of the surgery they thanked me for filling out the online form. They showed me a printed copy of it and asked me to sign.

While being prepped for surgery I got a look at the orders. I know they were orders because that is what the nurse told me they were when I asked, "what the hell is this?". There were three procedures. One was the procedure I had approved of, the second was the one I had stated twice I didn't want. The third was a scopic procedure, bascially taking pictures of the affected area.
I grabbed the nurse, pointed to the paper and said, "I do NOT want that!".

A few seconds later, or so it seemed, I remember talking to my doctor very upset. I asked if the procedure I didn't want and had now made thrice clear to the surgical center, had been performed? She indicated it had and was upset and surprised at how upset I was.

She initially thought I might just be coming out of the anesthesia hard. This was only my second time going under but in highschool I remember being upset and frightened coming out. She looked into it however and found that I had repeatedly requested through the surgical center that this not be done.

My mistake was in not taking advantage of my opportunities to speak with her the day before and day of surgery. I assumed that the surgical center would handle this appropriately and I was more focused on getting the paperwork for my job completed.

She never heard from me that I had changed my mind. In many ways I feel I have done this to myself.

In most ways I feel that the surgical center did not do their job.

I am looking into a law suit.

I get angrier every day.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

My Grandmother's Rings

My grandmother (Oma) loved topaz, next to diamond's of course. My mother has this elegantly set topaz boulder ring. In all seriousness, this stone is huge. This year, for no reason at all (birthday, Xmas, etc.), my mother passed two of my Oma's rings down to me. One of these two rings stands out in my memory from childhood. It was always on her hand. It is a beautiful ring. Three diamonds are set flush in an oblong rim. This rim is surrounded by a platform of brushed gold supported by a sort of art deco filigree. It is unique and beautiful. My mother can't remember the reason that Opa gave it to her but I think it was an anniversary gift. My Oma loved, loved, loved, loved, loved jewelry. Fortunately for her she had a gifted jeweler as a brother in law. All the women in my family have something made just for them by Uncle Heiny (short for Heinrich). I have no memory of him, but he met me. I have a 24k bracelet with my name on it. He made it for me the woman not me the infant. He looked ahead, always wanting me to enjoy this gift from him. It was too big for my wrist until high school. I was so excited when it finally fit! I tried it on whenever I could coax mother to get it out, again. Sometimes I just wanted to look at it. Afterwards I would ask questions about my Uncle Heiny. Where he was, when could I meet him, what was he like. It was awhile before I understood what death really meant. Sadly, I no longer wear it. Partly because the gold is so pure it is soft and takes scratches very easily, but mostly because it is a priceless treasure from someone who loved me. It is also a reminder of my Tanta Ria. I adored her. My Tanta Ria was a strong and independent woman. Hard as granite on the outside, she remained a widow, never remarrying. She supported herself very comfortably. She had an apartment in Hanau, West Germany over looking the town square. We visited her quite often, my Oma and Tanta had always been close. I remember being a small girl watching the swallows wing their way around the buildings and listening to the church bells as my mother, Oma and Tanta talked. Listening to the women in my family talk was this warm, pleasant and familiar background buzz. My Tanta Ria was completely different with men, in particular my father, but there was another side to her. As formidable as my Tanta could look and sound she was really melted chocolate on the inside. I found that out early on, she had a terrible time refusing any request. She spoiled me, while discussing the ills of spoiling a child, whether I was in Germany or the states. My Oma and Tanta would send a care package every few months, there was always something special for me. Isn't it funny how an object so small as a ring can trigger memories? The other ring I do not remember my Oma wearing. I am sure she did, it is set with her favorite stone topaz. Not as large as the one my mother has but still a bit over done. It is a silver ring which is unusual for her. She greatly preferred gold. It has a Mediterranean look to it, she may have picked it up vacationing in Greece. My Oma had small fingers, the only finger I can fit it on is my pinky. It fully covers a third of my pinky. When I wear it, it is because of the love of her memory. That makes it beautiful to me. Today I thought I had lost this slightly over done silver and topaz ring. I was nearly undone. I tore my truck apart, dumped my purse and cried to my SIL. I went back out to the truck. I had already searched the front half and pulled out anything not nailed down. I hadn't checked the back at all. I hadn't been back there, I hadn't reached back there. There, underneath a camouflage jacket my husband had on last weekend was my Oma's ring. Earlier that day, that ring had been on my pinky. I don't know how it got under that jacket. I may have been in the back half of the truck and just can't remember. I like to think my Oma watches me still. It is a pleasant notion to think she had a hand in the ring's recovery. Don't you think?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

Recently a relative had a birthday. I asked her for a list of presents she would like. Like most people, reluctant to 'ask' for something she stalled. And stalled. And stalled. I resorted to manipulation by extortion. I told her that was fine, I'll get you something anyway only I'll make certain it's something you won't like, something that poops. I never told what kind of pooper I was planning for her. I hinted around at a number of poopers. I was prepared to show up at her party with a Beta or Goldfish in a lovely little bowl. Thankfully, I didn't have to do that. I never give pets as a gift (I would have taken it home if need be). Finally, she caved! Yes! I'm the winner! Oh, sorry. It's not polite to gloat.

This encounter with a relative taught me something. I'm really no different. To be honest, if you were to ask me right this minute what I wanted every desire, every hoped for item would leave me head at the speed of light. I decided I should really do something about that. Instead of pretending I don't want anything I will proudly proclaim my wish list to the world. Merry Christmas World! Here is my gift to you!


Crazy socks -I wear fun socks all winter long!
Bath beads, bath salts, bubble bath -Nothing helps me
wind down like a hot bath!

Sleepytime Tea from Celestial Seasonings -Mmmmmmm!

Books:

  1. The Proper Feeding and Care of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger
  2. The Evolution of Morality and Religion by Donald Bloom

Movies:

  1. The History of the World: Part 1
  2. To Be Or Not To Be
  3. Young Frankenstein
  4. High Anxiety
  5. Silent Movie
  6. The Princess Bride
  7. Robin Hood: Men In Tights
  8. Angel the series; Season 2
  9. Angel the series; Season 3
  10. Angel the series; Season 4

Gift Certificates to the following:
  1. The Herb Bar
  2. Celebration
  3. Target
  4. The Container Store
  5. World Market

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Up and the Down

I have Bipolar. I was diagnosed about 2 years ago. I am doing pretty well at the moment. It is in these moments that I forget why I was diagnosed to begin with. I saw my drug rep (psychiatrist) (she happens to be a very good doctor) today with a laundry list of things to discuss. On that list was 'why do we think I have bipolar?'. We went over a list of problems we had tackled together. Oh, yeah...I remember. I was hoping for a quick discussion about how I'm truly OK and just have ADHD. I was first diagnosed with ADHD at a young age and that same diagnosis has been made several times over the years. I'm comfortable with ADHD; I recognize when I'm having difficulty and I have lots of coping strategies. Bipolar is still new and scary to me. To be honest it is only in the last 6 months that I realized we were confronting the bipolar separate from the ADHD. My symptoms are mild compared to most for which I am thankful.

Still, I have symptoms which is why I go visit the drug rep. I have been doing really well recently and this is because I finally agreed to take the amount of lithium she thought we would be beneficial. I am at a 'therapeutic' level.The thing that sucks is that being on this amount of lithium brings side affects into clearer focus. I have a dear friend at work who had a bad experience with lithium as a child. In her mind lithium is evil, she's a little dramatic but genuinely worried. Doing a web search on side affects of lithium would be a way to either validate or relieve her concern. Here is what I found out:

1.) There is a fine line between therapeutic and toxic levels of lithium. Wow! That was an eye opener. I didn't do much research on lithium, it has been around forever. It is very effective and usually well tolerated.

2.) The following is a list of symptoms I attributed to other causes: HAND TREMOR: DRY CRACKING SKIN ON HANDS: HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE: LETHARGY: WEAKNESS: EDEMA IN CALVES, ANKLES AND FEET: CONSTANT THIRST: CRAZY FREQUENT URINATION: SLURRED SPEECH: NAUSEA: DIMINISHED SEX DRIVE: FATIGUE

3.) This is the only side affect I knew came from lithium: DIARRHEA

Now before you get upset with my drug rep these symptoms are not typical. Some of them have been going on for over a year, some within the last 3 months. Until today, the only symptom I brought to her attention was the diarrhea. It never occurred to me that dry hands or edema could be the work of lithium. I was convinced the hand tremor was due to anemia or the iron pills I take to counter it. So, we had a lot to discuss. Prescribing medication has never been something she does 'to' me. Before changing we look at a list of drugs, discuss pros and cons. For right now she has reduced my dosage. We're going to take it slow because my blood pressure is in play. Depending on how my symptoms are in one week, I may or may not try out a new med. I may be able to simply lower my lithium dosage. I like that option. Lithium has worked really well. The only other medicine for mania we've tried was Depakote. I puked and puked and puked. I love what lithium has afforded me. Relations between myself and my family have never been better. My mother and I are closer than ever. I worry throwing lithium away is throwing that away. Cross your fingers for me.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Copy Cat

Imatation is the sincerest form of flattery. Isn't that how the justification for robbing someone else's ingenuity goes? Well, I have chosen to unabashedly flatter my SIL with thievery. I noticed on her blog she shared things she was "consuming". I didn't realize that this was a website dedicated to helping folks impart to others what they were reading. I thought that was pretty nifty. So, I decided complimets were in order and commited larceny. I have absolutely no idea what is available on the web. My only option is to pilfer. Sad, no? It is a miracle that I have been blogging with such frequency. This site sat in neglect for months. I predict that at some point my attention will change focus but for now it is fun, interesting and even informative.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Happy Birthday Missy!

My SIL is turning 30 this weekend. She is handling this with more maturity and decorum than I was able to manage. In fact, I think she is looking forward to it! I am giving her as much grief as I can manage. Truthfully I really appreciate her insight, humor and that she is playfully evil, just like me. The more I get to know her, the more I appreciate her. So, big HAPPY BIRTHDAY from your daughter's Tanta (that means best, coolest aunt ever in German).


I'm looking forward to tonite! I can't wait to see the look on your face when you open my present.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

If this were real...

...if this were real I'd be a really bad dog mom. She loves this new toy. It's a life like, life sized skunk toy. I didn't get the raccoon toy because we have them around here and I didn't want her getting any ideas. Skunks, as far as I know, live in the country. She is having a ball. I really love this little dog!

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Spooky?

This was the first photo I snapped with Hulda sitting for the witch. The photo is ruined because of the smoke from my cigarette. Looks sort of spooky though, I thought.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Post Halloween Special


Please excuse the date stamp on this picture, I didn't realize my camera had reset. I love Halloween. I have a lot of Halloween 'paraphenalia' because I always take advantage of post halloween sales. Tom was at Wal-Mart and found this 6 foot tall witch. He's really sweet, he likes to help me build up my holiday arsenals. We set it up and set it against the wall. Hulda had her eye on it. She knew this wasn't a person but she sensed something similar. People get lots of wiggles and kisses. She simply went up to the witch and sat. I ran for my camera. Hulda is a talker, meaning she vocalizes. I missed her rising on two feet, while talking to get a sniff of a hand. I snapped this just as she decided this was pretty boring and sauntered off to find a toy. She was so cute. She's such a great dog!

My darling niece


This is the most beautiful girl in the world. Period. I realized today that I haven't posted any pictures of my niece. That is a HUGE error on my part. These pictures were taken on her birthday in June. She's perfect and I just had to share that.








Thursday, November 02, 2006

This Blogs For You!

I was so very wrong! Impossible, I know but true. I do have a winner! Kathy was the only person (me and Tom included) who correctly guessed that the smaller, dark puppy was the cross. My hat's off to you. You are our victorious guesser! What a triumph! You rock! As promised this blog post is dedicated to you! I know, what a fantastic prize! I only a have a few pictures of you, all from Serif's birthday party. If anyone wishes to opine please limit your comments to the fabulousness of Kathy!
If you feel like singing for joy Kathy I reccomend Queen's "We Are The Champions"

May I have the envelope please?

The envelope is empty! Well that sucks. Nobody won. I guessed wrong too! The puppy on the left is the cross. The puppy to the right is the purebred Bulldog. When I emailed my friend to ask her she sent more pictures with the answer. I didn't see it until this picture. The puppy on the right has an enormous head and very short legs.

The cross has been spoken for already. His owner is a certified K 9 narcotic trainer for the military. He isn't going to be a service dog, don't worry that's what I thought too. She had more inquiries about him than the bulldog! He'll be going home between 12 and 16 weeks old.

These are pictures of the Bulldog. I am waiting on more of the cross.

I love happy endings.

Double Trouble


Aren't they adorable. They are from the same litter. One is a purebred bulldog from showlines and the other is a boxer bulldog cross. Weird huh? There was an accident at my friends kennel on the very day a bulldog stud was due for breeding. This litter's mother, Pebbles a bulldog, is best pals with the Angelo a boxer. Angelo is Hulda's daddy. Pebbles got away from my friends son. She ran straight over to Angelo. Pebbles was in heat and Angelo is an experienced stud dog. The stud and his owner arrived shortly after this mishap. The AKC does DNA testing to determine parentage if requested. They discussed the problem and decided to breed her to the bulldog and sort it out with the AKC later. They look like bulldog puppies to me but apparently one is not. If I had to take a guess I think I'd know which one I'd pick as the cross. What do you think?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Why I Love My Dog